I was reading a report in the local paper today about someone who lost control of a car, overturned it and smashed it into the front of a chippy.
Nasty, but it was shut and nobody was hurt. Story ends... no wait.
The remaining two thirds of the article was quotes from the owner, two people who (didn't work there at the time as it was shut) worked there and random customers.
What if I'd (unnecessarily) gone to work early. I'd have been squashed!
What if there were kids playing outside!
It's a terrible thing, I always go there for my chips (when it's shut) I might have been killed for a sausage.
What if a row of Faberge eggs had been lined up outside? What if Morrissey was playing a surprise gig in the road (we can only hope)?
Some Motorbikes + some Cars. Sexy girlfriend. Large DVD collection. #humbled
BAEs: Monkey stew, screech, fat lad, tinky, Phippo and sadsack