If you were a Traffic Copper for a day, what would you concentrate you time on doing?

Most people have had a moan about 'traffic' before, and I'm sure we all can think how they should be spending their time. So, if you were plod for the day, what would you be doing?

Firstly, I'd be pulling over everyone with an illegal number plate. There's no need for it, they aren't allowed, everyone knows it, so shy flaunt the law? (plus they look crap)

People with foglights on inappropriately, people not moving left after overtaking, people sitting right up another drivers chuff, people driving erratically.

I would largely ignore people speeding unless they were being really silly for the given conditions.

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cheers,

Harry

Too many old sheds.

People driving while being on the phone really pisses me off, stop the car or get a hands free kit. 3 points and £60 isn't enough IMO. My cousin caused a bad accident a few years ago when being on the phone and he got off lightly for being such an idiot.

I'd be pulling over all electric car owners for their naive belief that they are saving the planet.

knob jockeys who wont pull over

than twats doing 38 in a NSL

everything else is acceptable

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WIBBLE

people with fast cars and quiet exhausts would feel the force of my authoritahhh

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cheers,

Harry

Too many old sheds.

I'd be hoping like hell that I don't have to shovel body parts into a bin bag during my one day shift.

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Hosting | Colocation | Connectivity | Network Security | VoIP

mik said...

I'd be pulling over all electric car owners for their naive belief that they are saving the planet.

You're naive to believe that owners of electric cars think they're saving the planet.

Updated November 16, 2012 at 3:29 PM

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Ampera • Women • Car Trade

oooh, single speeders.

hold you up for ages on a decent bit of roan, then plough on ahead opening up a huge gap once you get to a town.

i'd like to pull them over and ask why they are doing it.

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cheers,

Harry

Too many old sheds.

Folks who don't turn on there headlights when it's dark... list is pretty long and I can only tear gas so many twonks

Oh and Prem footie types who ruin perfectly awesome cars... though I'd give Liverpool players a warning

Updated November 16, 2012 at 3:32 PM

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You're a big man, but you're in bad shape. With me it's a full time job. Now behave yourself.

Have a good drive in their new Volvos S60s(In Singapore, we have those).Catch all the road hoggers and mobile callers. I mean come on, there are Bluetooth and headsets available everywhere. Why do you need to drive with the phone in one hand and the wheel on the other.

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Cirrus58

Eating doughnuts.

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Impreza WRX STi Spec-C V-Limited Toshi Arai Edition/ GTR/ Panda 100HP Pandamonium/ Insignia CDTi 160

exiges said...

mik said...

I'd be pulling over all electric car owners for their naive belief that they are saving the planet.

You're naive to believe that owners of electric cars think they're saving the planet.

You're naive to think you're not the exception to the Rule. I'd pull you over for Impersonating a Scotsman.

People who drive too slow.

People who indicate AFTER changing lanes.

People who drive too close.

People who drive too far away.

People who slow down when approaching empty roundabouts.

People who join the motorway at less than 70mph.

I don't give a fuck if you're using your phone / having a cup of coffee / eating your lunch as long as you don't do any of the above.

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and so it begins...

Bollock all the school mums who fvcking fly down the road in their cars taking their kids to school whilst the kids walking & non lazy of us try to cross the road safely.

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Cheers,

Gwaredd

Steele Signs

Gwaredd said...

Bollock all the school mums who fvcking fly down the road in their cars taking their kids to school whilst the kids walking & non lazy of us try to cross the road safely.

This.

The number of stupid cows that think the "no parking" zones outside a school apply to everyone except their X5.

Yet they would be the same hand-wringing-self-entitled twunts that would cry blue murder if their spoilt little Tarquin got run over outside the school.

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Ampera • Women • Car Trade

I would concentrate on lane discipline and stop EVERYONE that did not pull into the nearside lane if it was empty. If I could also issue points and a hefty fine for this, then I would have the coffers full by the end of the day.

Poorly maintained cars would be spot checked.

I couldn't give a flying one about number plates - if it's readable, then that is good enough for me.

However, I too would be praying for non-gruesome car accidents. Would hate to have to do that part.

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Nordschleife - there's only two barriers to worry about - the ones on the left and the ones on the right!

RichardMajor86 said...

If you were a Traffic Copper for a day, what would you concentrate you time on doing?

VMAX'ing my Vauxhall Senator 3.0 24v

Anyone not adhering to lane discipline.

Driving too slowly (I'd ask them why..)

Tailgaters.

That take forever to set off when the lights turn green.

Anyone parking illegally.

Anyone that cuts another driver up.

Anyone not paying attention to the task at hand - ie driving!

Those that sit in the middle of the lane when turning right - pull to the white line and allow traffic to get round you selfish cvnt.

That stop traffic to let a passenger out - no excuses, this is pure selfish and bloody dangerous.

Absolutely anyone that goes through a red light.

Anyone that breaks down and leaves the car in a dangerous spot would be taken aside and sterilised. EG: leaving a car in the outside lane of a D/C or motorway.. unless wheels have fallen off its unlikely the car can't be pulled over to the hard shoulder safely before it runs out of momentum. If you have a flat tyre and stop in the outside lane I will have you shot as you're clearly a moron.

Anyone that joins a motorway or similar, pulls straight into the second lane, infront of me, and then fails to get out of my fvcking way, and then when I pull into the outside lane does the self same fvcking thing. (this actually happened to me today, ignorant blonde bint in a 118d).

I'd use common sense on speeding - anyone raging through a village would get shot in the face, but someone making decent progress on a clear A road would be allowed on their way.